My Mid-Life Fashion Crisis!

How do you know when a woman is wearing tights? Her knees swell up when she farts! This is about the extent of my fashion/style/trend insight.

It would be a fair analysis of me to say that I am not into fashion, I have never had a personal style and I can’t tell you what a trend is – unless we’re talking about wine consumption after 4.30pm!

I’ve never bought a fashion magazine but I can tell you what goes through my mind when I turn the page and see a fashion spread in whatever gossip rag I’m trawling for celebrity images.  You remember when you had to give a speech at school and your parents told you to imagine the crowd naked? Well, I do something similar when it comes to the models in those pictures. I imagine the model that’s laying luxuriously in her marble bath with her Louis Vuitton heels perched on the edge, has probably just farted which explains the trout pout on her face. Or the glamorous lady frolicking in the pool with a “this-is-really-my-life-don’t-you-know” smirk has possibly just peed and now has to splash about in it looking fabulous! Most likely neither of these scenarios has actually ever happened, but hey we all have our own mechanisms for making the far-fetched seem more like reality, right?

I’m a 40 year old mum of 3 and have found myself in a bit of a life rut lately.  We live in France and I have yet to master the French language which can make life exhausting at times and monotonous at others. To my very pleasant surprise it is instagram that is steering me back into my groove even if it’s taking me way out of my comfort zone. In the last few weeks I have started following some fantastic fashionista women over 40 who are rocking colour, confidence and charisma and it has inspired me – BIG time!

I am actually loving diving into this whole new world of colour clothing that I never really thought about. I love following women who are a decade older than me showcasing their own style with zero external care-factor and a whole lotta ‘the only opinion that matters – is mine’ vibes. I wanna rock it like they do.

So I’m slowly getting into this new area but I really have some work to do when it comes to posting natural ‘I-always-stand-this-way’ images.

You see, I often take my own images (as I assume most people do?) with the self-timer function on my iPhone. While I’ve asked my hubby or kids to take photos for me, I either a) feel a bit stupid or b) have to then find the one good one amongst the 50 they’ve taken using the burst photo function.  But here’s what is probably not so obvious;

I’m not really laughing at anyone or anything and no-one is laughing at whatever just made me laugh. I am alone, fake posing, fake pointing and at times awkwardly scrunching my body up to fit in the frame because the phone is precariously balanced on a bucket which in turn is balanced on one of the kids plastic Ikea chairs!

Kiwi Mama of 3 | BLOG
There’s no-one with me. I’m alone, laughing at no-one and nothing funny and the phone is about to fall off the bucket which is why I’m standing like this.

But I do this because, in my own very humble opinion, I don’t love the ‘fixed eyes at the camera’ shot. I prefer the “look-there-is-something-really-interesting-in-that-tree-over-there” pose. Or a, “heres-one-from-the-other-side-and-I-am-now-looking-at-another-branch-so-thats-different” smile. Could this be the start of me developing my own style?!!

Kiwi Mama of 3 | BLOG
Fashion at 40: The “Look, there is something interesting on the ground over there” look.

While I’ve been cheese-smiling my way along, I’ve actually made some bold decisions and great discoveries.

  1. I can wear yellow and not look like radioactive waste!
  2. I’ve done a wardrobe dump and evacuated everything dull (I may regret this later)
  3. I can put a whole outfit together without wearing any black (totes obvs there is always a place for a black dress or black pants. Lets not get cray cray!)
  4. Earrings really can make a ‘statement’ when all else fails.
  5. I have decided (as of 25th June, 2018) to go one whole month without wearing black eeeeekkkk!!!! (Check out my instagram stories for updates @kiwimamaof3)
  6. Dresses / skirts are my friends – they can hide a multitude of sins (including hairy legs or a big lunch)
  7. I still don’t have any idea what ‘style’ is current or what ‘piece’ is trending, but I don’t care. I love what I like and I love what I feel good in!

Moving forward, don’t be expecting any crotchless pants, thong jeans or meat dresses – I’m not there yet (possibly not ever).


I still don’t know what I’m doing and to be honest, I don’t really care and never have. But I am enjoying experimenting for the first time in a long time in something that is totally out of my lane – it feels good.

In order for a rainbow to appear there has to be rain and then sun – I like to think I’ve come through the rain and now I’m standing in the sun marvelling at all the colours that were hidden behind the clouds – and seeing them for the first time.

Till next time..


One thought on “My Mid-Life Fashion Crisis!

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